Right Wing Cannibalism

It is very lovely watching Republican candidates and groups devour each other as the ship sinks. OK, maybe that’™s a mixed metaphor (mangled, more like). It is just such a giddy feeling that it is hard to control oneself. OK, OK, I’™ll get to the point. Donald Wildmon and the American [...]

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

It is very lovely watching Republican candidates and groups devour each other as the ship sinks. OK, maybe that’™s a mixed metaphor (mangled, more like). It is just such a giddy feeling that it is hard to control oneself. OK, OK, I’™ll get to the point. Donald Wildmon and the American Family Association are protesting WalMart.

Nope, it isn’™t about some fake ‘œWar on Christmas’ thing. According to Wildman’™s people, WalMart has helped the gays! I got the whole scoop from Don himself (that’™s his picture on the right). Yeah, I subscribe to his newsletter. I’™d tell you more about Donald’™s ravings more often, but I just keep forgetting to check my junk mail folder.

Here’™s what’™s got Donald Wildmon’™s little sailor suit in a bunch.

1. WalMart made a donation to the GLBT Chamber of Commerce in Northwest Arkansas. These people actually eat at buffets. Clearly they are not just homosexual, but French as well.

2. WalMart helped sponsor the Out & Equal Workplace Summit in Chicago. According to the AFA this means that WalMart’™s $60,000 sponsorship will go toward teaching workers across the country to love the music of Liza Minelli, among other depravities.

3. WalMart welcomes gay marriage. Why, they sell books about the subject! Indeed, they sell other items gay and lesbian people might want to buy. Like barbecue tongs! (Isn’™t that a gay thing, or am I mixed up here?)

4. WalMart joined the national Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, which means that they support gay marriage, of course.

You get the sense that Wildmon thinks WalMart will soon be requiring employees to engage in gay encounters on their work breaks, leading to marriage, of course, but Wildmon fails to understand that WalMart does not give work breaks, and the products they sell only attract gays because they register very high on the kitsch meter.

Tuesday, November 21st, 2006 by Richard Blair |
Category: Uncategorized

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