Seems John McCain is so connected to the good old boys in Washington that he’s dragging down the ticket. Reports are that Sarah Palin is going to fire him. From Post Traumatic Stress Disorder News:

“If there is anyone who can get officials to fire someone she doesn’t like, it’s Sarah,” said an unnamed Republican spokesperson. “This will be a good move for the GOP,” said Charles L. Sonderheim of the Heritage Foundation, “Palin has been packing them in, while McCain can’t fill a McDonalds.”

Rules state that if the front runner is removed before the election, the vice presidential nominee become the presidential candidate. “We all know that God has anointed her to be president,” said Reverend Ed Kalnin, Palin’s former preacher, “so why delay the process, just like we shouldn’t delay Armageddon.”

. . .

There has been no word on who would be tapped as Palin’s vice presidential running mate. “We need to emphasize Sarah’s qualifications to be president by picking someone who is a little less qualified than her, but charming, of course,” said a top GOP spokesperson, “However this may take some time, although we have a lead on a pig with lipstick in Waterloo, Iowa that is dying to get off the farm.”

Some would call that humor, maybe even satire. I’m sure some of you will call it hyperrealism instead. Whatever, it’s there for your reading pleasure today.