With the recent revelations of John Ensign and Mark Sanford, both all for family values, both considering a run for the Presidency in 2012, and both guilty of having affairs, one has to wonder who is next. Which Republican will commit political hari kari next by chasing after an illicit piece of ass? Let’s calculate the odds.

30:1 Sarah Palin. She’s too much in the spotlight to pull it off, and she’s already got plenty of family cvalues problems. Still, I expect she’ll be travelling without family over the next couple of years, and there will be opportunities. But would she admit to it and tell the truth? Not a chance.

20:1 Mike Huckabee. Mike is more likely to be caught in bed than any of the others. He works at Fox, for crying out loud. Because Huckabee is an ordained minister, though, he’ll keep his pants on. He knows his base and knows he has no chance if even the slightest hint of impropriety is suspected.

2:1 Newt Gingrich. Everyone’s favorite. Reporters will be waiting to see if his wife is sniffling, then following Newt to see if they can catch this hound in the act. If his wife goes int he hospital, watch out!

80:1 Charlie Crist. He’s been lying about sex for so long he’s got it figured out. There’s not a chance Charlie Crist will get caught, and certainly no chance he will admit to boning some blonde surfer boy. Still, Crist obviously gave Sanford advise about tanning, so maybe he’ll be tainted with the association.

35:1 Mitt Romney. The man was raised Mormon, and while that does not give him any inside track to morality, I’m betting here that the special underwear instilled some kind of discipline in the Mittster.

2:1 Rudy Guilliani. How long has Rudy been married this time? I’d say he’s due. But should he even be on this list? No, he has no shot in 2012 unless all the others take a tumble in the hay together. That would take gay marriage passing in every state in the union and all their marriages failing at once.

15:1 Bobby Jindall. Bobby is young and presumably has his hormones working. Still, this guy doesn’t seem the horndog one little bit. He also is no communicator, but if the Republicans keep shooting themselves in the feet, serially, then he’s got a chance in 2012.

3:2 Tim Pawlenty. I’m going to use Pawlenty and Gingrich as one entry and figure one of them gets caught and goes on TV dripping crocadile tears about how horribly he’d harmed his family. Pawlenty has been under fire for not naming Al Franken the winner, and he’s primed for a big emotional failure.

50:1 Jeb Bush. Not a chance he is cheating. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if he got the Republican nomination because everyone else was caught screwing someone they shouldn’t?