Bad behavior can be embodied in Michael Vick and dog fighting and torture of the animals, and it can be embodied in the racists sentiments of a teacher towards the very kids she teaches. Echoing Charles Barkley, it is our responsibility as parents to guide our kids in choosing which athletes, or even teachers, to use as role models.
Commentary By: Steven Reynolds
This is an article about teaching one’s children in the wake of the MichaelVickapalooza that will be conducted in the media this weekend. Just the exposure to Michael Vick, a man who committed such vile acts against such inherently trusting animals. . . could it harm our children? This article addresses what to tell those kids, but there will be no “3 steps” to talking to your children, or “7 ways” you can help them look up to better people than Michael Vick, or, for that matter, a bunch of teachers fomenting racism. This is a tough issue and demands a more nuanced approach.
Let me start by noting that Willie Nelson’s “My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys” has been going around in my head for the couple days while thinking about this column. Willie makes it simple, detailing the myths of youth and hero worship, the sadness when we grow up and those myths implode. Willie Nelson clings to those myths, and perhaps heroes should remain myth. But our kids seem intent on making real people their heroes, real people who are sports stars, and even teachers. There’s the rub.
Basketball star Charles Barkley once talked about how it is unfair to expect sports stars to be role models. Here’s Sir Charles:
I think the media demands that athletes be role models because there’s some jealousy involved. It’s as if they say, this is a young black kid playing a game for a living and making all this money, so we’re going to make it tough on him. And what they’re really doing is telling kids to look up to someone they can’t become, because not many people can be like we are. Kids can’t be like Michael Jordan.
Oh, but kids did look up to Michael Vick, mostly because their parents allowed them to. It may be Michael Vick’s fault that he ran a dog fighting ring and tortured and murdered dogs, and it may be true that he did the time for it in Leavenworth. It certainly is true that Michael Vick is out there speaking to kids about taking responsibility for their lives, and that’s a good thing, but the guy with Michael Vick in this video, Philadelphia District Attorney candidate Seth Williams, is a far better candidate as a “hero” than is Michael Vick.
That said, I’m betting lots of kids have their Michael Vick jerseys on this weekend for the first Philadelphia Eagles game he plays in, and it doesn’t make me comfortable. Part of me thinks these will mostly be black kids with those jerseys, just as they are black kids thronging him in the video. As the father of an African American son, I don’t want him growing up to idolize a Michael Vick or anyone who has made his name just from athletic endeavors. That would make me cringe involuntarily. But there is evidence today that idolizing someone whose role is to do good, a teacher, is not always a good idea either.
Remember the Valley Swim Club and the uproar caused when they barred an African American Day Camp this summer? Well, the investigation of that incident by the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission is in and there is reprehensible and racially tinged activity everywhere in the report. In particular, young Jabriel Brown overheard his own teacher, Michelle Flynn, complaining about all those “black kids” at the pool where she was a member. Here’s how it is reported in the Philadelphia Daily News:
Less than an hour into the visit, a student returning to the pool from a concession stand heard a woman say, “What are all of these black kids doing here?”
The same child reported hearing the woman say, “I am scared they might do something to my child.”
The woman, Michelle Flynn, teaches at Laura H. Carnell Elementary School in Philadelphia’s Oxford Circle section. The school also happens to be where Creative Steps was based. One of Flynn’s sixth-grade students, Jabriel Brown, who was among the campers visiting the swim club, recognized her.
His mother, Christine Pembleton, said yesterday that Flynn had treated her son fairly during his year as her math and science student. Pembleton could not recall hearing of any trouble from the class.
But the report said Flynn had told other club members Jabriel stole a teacher’s cell phone - and another Carnell teacher at the club, Deborah Mindel, repeated this allegation, according to the report.
The report said records showed Jabriel was never disciplined or even accused of theft at the school. “My son is not a thief,” Pembleton said angrily yesterday.
The evidence here is that a woman whose job is to teach and be a role model made up stories about these kids, and it is as difficult as can be to figure out how this isn’t racism at work. It isn’t just Michael Vick, or just athletes in general we should keep our kids from idolizing, but it appears we should watch out for the teachers, too. That’s where this whole problem of role models gets difficult, because if you can’t even trust teachers to act responsibly in front of your kids, you’re in some deep trouble.
Micheal Vick starts to look good in comparison to this teacher. Vick did his time and he’s speaking to kids trying to right some wrongs. Even if we are cynical and conclude that Vick is only doing the right thing so that he can play football and earn enough money to climb out of bankruptcy, he’s standing a whole lot taller than Michelle Flynn, who hasn’t even acknowledged the Human Relations Commission’s findings, that she is at the center of this racist storm and bears responsibility. Heck, the school system is allowing her to teach the same kids she treated so badly, without taking disciplinary measures.
The question remains, of course. Kids need heroes and role models, and I’ve now ruled out both athletes and teachers as appropriate candidates. As sports stars go, I don’t want my son admiring someone like Micheal Vick or Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds or . . . the list goes on. Still, there are sports stars I might condone as role models. Brian Dawkins and his dedication to community service comes to mind, or Cole Hamels, who is beginning his career, but walks the city like a normal guy while also doing good works without fanfare. I also like the fact that Cole Hamels and his wife are thinking of transracial adoption. So, yes, there are athletes remaining worth the admiration of a child, and as a teacher I know many other teachers I would love my son to look up to. The lesson here is that I, as a concerned parent, must take an active role in my son’s choosing of role models and heroes. They certainly can’t be cowboys, as he’s growing up an Eagles fan, but I do not despair with the poor example of Michael Vick, or even of Michelle Flynn the teacher.
Perhaps that is the lesson here. Adults make harsh judgements and are quick to condemn all athletes, all teachers, all whatever. Is that the origin of racism, that we run across a bad example or three and then apply what we’ve learned too broadly? I can’t pretend to find the origins of racism here in this short essay, but I can struggle and strive to raise a boy who knows what racism is, to recognize when an offer of watermelon is not generous but ugly. We all have an obligation to partake of that same struggle, don’t we?
