The right wing crackpots are at it again. This time they are blaming The Golden Girls for creating a generation of homosexual men out of unsuspecting boys. No, I’m not making this up. Bea Arthur, Betty White, Estelle Geddes and Rue McClanahan were agents of the Homosexual Agenda before gay marriage was even a tinkerbell in Ru Paul’s eye. This according to a simply marvelous article on Christwire.org entitled “The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals.” I’m thinking Stephenson Billings, a fine name for a gay porn star, needs to get a life. Here’s a sample from the article:

It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda. These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years. Skyrocketing divorce rates ruined their faith in traditional relationships. Rock groups like Duran Duran and Styx encouraged big hair and overactive libidos. The show lit a match which enflamed their intense physical urges. With the utmost cruelty and immorality, The Golden Girls seized upon this opportunity to cross the hormonal wires of America’s lost generation.

The results were disastrous. Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility– the most enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the birth of “camp.”

OK, Jonathan Turley rightly points to a bit of discussion as to whether Christwire.org is satire. If so, they catch oodles of right wing commenters who just eat this stuff up. And who am I to say Golden Girls isn’t the cause of so much homosexuality? Whether satire or earnest, or some combination thereof by Stephenson Billings, erstwhile antique soda bottle collector, this is a funny article.