99 Potential Job Openings in Iowa

It some Republican state Senators in Iowa have their way, then County Recorders there will resist issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian citizens. The Senators are denying the whole thing, while also whining that religious rights are being abused! Oh the HORROR! Iowans, get your resumes ready, County Recorder jobs could open soon.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

With the Iowa Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage in Iowa, it is of to the County Recorders in all 99 Iowa counties to hand out those marriage licenses to both hetero and gay and lesbian couples. But there are rumblings here and there that some of the County Recorders are unhappy with the prospect of carrying out their sworn duty. There are even some Iowa Republican Legislators who are DENYING they ever had anything to do with encouraging that discomfort felt by some of the Country Recorders. Here’s a bit of the story from the Des Moines Register:

E-mails obtained by The Des Moines Register, meanwhile, show the struggle recorders are going through.

Warren County Recorder Polly Glascock said in an e-mail to colleagues that a woman from the Statehouse called her to ask how she’d handle the gay-marriage issue.

Glascock answered that she would be required to process the applications. “She inquired as to why I thought I had to do that – it’s not a law, it’s an opinion,” Glascock wrote.

The caller was the clerk of Republican Rep. Kent Sorenson.

Sorenson, a Warren County resident who is opposed to marriage for same-sex couples, said Thursday that he did not ask his assistant to make the call.

“I’m not calling for anarchy,” he said. “I want to make it clear that I’m not calling, pressuring her not to do her job. She has to do her job. That’s up to her, the oath she took and what she feels she has to do.”

In an e-mail to colleagues, Johnson County Recorder Kim Painter wrote: “The tentacles of people who want to turn this into something it should not be – a political stunt on the 27th – are reaching out, trying to locate a recorder willing to perpetrate an act of civil disobedience in a county where the sheriff won’t arrest, and the attorney won’t prosecute.”

In her e-mail, she said that she hopes none of her colleagues “go rogue.”

No, a Republican would never encourage a civil official to refuse to uphold the law! No, never! Kent Sorenson is clearly on the record as denying anything happened, and they’ll never prove it, either! Although Republican State Senator Merlin Bartz sure seems to be suggesting that County Recorders refrrain from carrying out their sworn duties. Sure, he sues artful language in his denials. . . Republican all the way, I suppose. Here it is:

Republican Sen. Merlin Bartz of Grafton said recorders are at the forefront of the debate. “They could pull out the code book and say, –I can’t do it,’” he said.

Asked if he is encouraging recorders to commit civil disobedience, Bartz answered: “I have to decide whether or not it’s civil disobedience. If you look at the code book, it hasn’t changed.”

Sioux County Recorder Anita Van Bruggen said her personal belief is that marriage is only between a man and a woman. She said she asked her county attorney whether she must follow the ruling. “He said if you do not, you face removal,” Van Bruggen said.

Sen. David Johnson, R-Ocheyedan, said the Iowa Supreme Court set “a different set of moral standards” that conflicts with Iowans’ constitutional right to freedom of religion.

“If you believe this is wrong based on your theology,” he said, “how can you then deny your faith?”

Hey, there’s the crux of it at the end there, special rights for Christians who don’t believe in gay marriage. That’s the view State Senator David Johnson is pushing. They have no special right to work for the government and at the same time disobey the state of Iowa’s laws. No, that’s not how it works in America. Nobody has the right to a state job and also the right to disobey jobs. We voted that idea out with Dick Cheney.

If these Republican state Senators in Iowa have their way, there will be 99 jobs available in Iowa soon. Progressive job candidates should get their resumes ready.

Friday, April 17th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

Homeland Security: Pat Robertson Edition

Pat Robertson has done it again. Blaming gays isn’t enough. He wants to enable terrorists by jamming the phone lines at the Department of Homeland Security. Really, he did it on TV on the 700 Club. No word on whether he used puppets in his presentation.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

Pat Robertson is off his meds again. In protest of the Homeland security report the other day that has all the right wing whack jobs in a dither, Robertson got on his 700 Club yesterday and told his listeners to jam the Homeland Security hotline. From Crooks and Liars:

Robertson: If that had been a Republican, there would be outrage and screams for Janet Napolitano to resign immediately. That – Terry, you’re somebody who favors life, wants to keep little babies alive. Somebody who has been a veteran and served our country as a proud member of the military. Somebody who is opposed to the left-wing policies of the administration and who wants to express his or her views as they are entitled to under our Constitution, these people are now being stigmatized as terrorists! This is an outrage!

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to do something about it. If that doesn’t get you excited, I don’t know what would. And I want you to call a number. This is the Department of Homeland Security.

[Reads number]

… And just say you protest. This is an outrage!

And Janet Napolitano has got a lot of explaining to do. And that lame excuse she was giving – –Oh, I’m sorry they characterized all veterans that way’ – I mean, come off it!

Meeuwsen: The report was the report. I mean, it is astonishing that it was allowed to leave under that –

Robertson: It – it shows somebody down in the bowels of that organization is either a convinced left-winger or somebody whose sexual orientation is somewhat in question.

But it’s that kind of thing, somebody who doesn’t think that we should have abortion on demand, is labeled a terrorist! It’s outrageous!

. . . (and later in the show)

Now, that in my opinion, is an outrage. And I think if you don’t speak out against it, it’s going to be allowed to stand. So I want to give you that number again. Ring those phones up there in Washington, let them know people care.

[Reads number]

That you protest this – ah, stigmatism of law-abiding Americans as being right-wing threats to America.

[Repeats number]

And if you jam up their lines, good for you!

I guess sending teabags wasn’t enough for Robertson, he wants to really make a dent in our ability to defend ourselves. Hey, did you notice him questioning the sexuality of Homeland Security workers? That’s code for blaming gay people for everything. He’s done that once or twice in the past, of course, so that’s not really news.

Someone should investigate him.

Friday, April 17th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

The Nanny State Gone Haywire, in the Reddest of Red States

When people can’t solve their own problems, they turn to The Nanny State. Conservatives claim a desire for small government, but they advocate strict law and order provisions pack US jails fuller than in any other country, soon to include a couple 11 year old boys who snuck a look at internet porn. They loves some of that Nanny State!

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

The Nanny State? I’ll bet that term was invented by conservatives who were trying to get the best of liberals. They think government is too large when it works to protect people from their own actions. Sort of a libertarian critique on liberal government, I suppose, that demands personal responsibility rather than an all-protective government.

As a general rule, I think I’m there with a critique of government that indemnifies people fromt heir own mistakes. I’d rather see a government not protect people from being responsible for their actions. So a critique of the Nanny State sits well with me, to some degree. Still, conservatives use the term innapropriately, and frankly they depend on the government to bail them out time and again. The bottom line here for most conservatives is they want enforcement of the laws they like, and funding of the programs they like, and all other laws and programs are provided by “The Nanny State.” Yes, hypocrisy is the rule of the day for Republican conservatives, as usual.

Here’s an example. It is surely ludicrous, but it is from the reddest of red states. Two eleven year old boys sit down at their computer in class and go hunting for porn. By typing “lesbian” into the search engine they get around the school filters and hit the mother lode, which they show off to friends, of course. The story is from the Salt Lake Tribune:

Two American Fork fifth-graders could face criminal charges for looking at pornography on a school computer, but some people are wondering how they were able to access the images in the first place.

Police were called last week after two 11-year-old boys at Forbes Elementary School pulled up images of sexual acts on a school computer and then showed the pictures to nine other students, said American Fork Police Sgt. Gregg Ludlow. The incident came to light when one child told a parent and another told the principal.

Ludlow called the images “pretty explicit” but declined to elaborate. He said the boys made multiple attempts on different days to access inappropriate material. Ultimately, they typed the word “lesbian” into a search engine and were able to pull up pictures not blocked by the school’s Internet filter.

The school suspended the boys for two days. They could face charges in juvenile court of dealing in material harmful to a minor or lesser charges for viewing pornography at school, or be referred to the probation department instead of going to court, among other possibilities, said Chris Yannelli, deputy Utah County Attorney. If they are adjudicated in juvenile court, consequences range from community service to serving time in a juvenile detention facility, he said.

Rhonda Bromley, Alpine School District spokeswoman, said district officials decided to involve police based on the seriousness of the case.

“The bottom line is, because of the age it’s obviously a sensitive thing, but what they did was inappropriate, and it was wrong, so as educators and a society hopefully we need to help them learn that,” Bromley said. “It’s a little disappointing to hear people say, “Boys will be boys.’ … I don’t know what the magic age is when people can stop saying –Well, boys will be boys.’”

Ludlow said the boys subjected the other children to something they might not otherwise have seen.

“Our main emphasis is not to hammer these kids,” Ludlow said. “If we can get them into the juvenile justice system and make sure they’re getting some counseling or other services, that’s our end goal.”

First of all, I’m not so startled by this crime. I remember being exposed to porn the summer before the first grade, and being more excited about doing something we were hiding from adults than by the images. OK, that was a long time ago and the images were what we would now call “quaint,” pictures of topless women dressed up in cowboy gear – vests and chaps and the like. The illicit images set my then 10 year old heart aflutter, but it was the illicit part, not the nudity per se. But I digress.

They’re consigning these two boys to the juvenile justice system, spending their taxpayer dollars when they could just dish out punishment at the school and at home. I don’t know these boys, and I’m not claiming that 11 year olds can’t know the consequences of their actions and all, but this seems like a denial of both parental and school responsibility. No, I’m not making the argument that the school should have a better internet filter, as will likely be made, but that there is no need to so frivolously hand over 11 year old miscreants to the Nanny State when the school and the parents could handle the job. I’ve got no argument that there is a legitimate concern about children being exposed to pornography in school, but ratcheting up the punishment over natural curiosity is excessive. That’s not the mere “boys will be boys” argument, but one that says that natural curiosity must be nurtured, not punished excessively. By the time these folks are finished the boys will likely be registered as sex offenders.

It seems my opinion here matches that of the readers of the Salt Lake Tribune. (Should I be worried?) Here in the reddest of red states they were all gung ho over the teabagging thingie yesterday, but when it comes to policing the sexual development of their sons, they’d rather iron hand of the state do that. Meanwhile, a couple boys doing naughty things are shuffled off into the juvenile justice system, which likely will do far more damage than the appropriate punishments handed out by parents and schools. I suppose the right wingers in Utah are so traumatized by the very word “lesbian” that they want the state to handle the case so they don’t have to. Yeah, all these laws about sex registries and regulating the sexuality of these precious snowflakes are a great way to spend the tax dollars Utah residents don’t want to pay anyway.

Thursday, April 16th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

Teabaggery in Philly

Awesome pictures of teabaggery at the all-white Philadelphia Love Park celebration. 200 people teabagging? The photographer evidently edited out the sex, though, so these are safe for work unless you have a low tolerance for tacky.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

I was not a witness to any sex acts in the appropriately named Love Park, but phillybits was, and he’s put up an AWESOME picture of Brendan Skwire of Brendancalling teabagging a couple teabags. Oh, and Brendan himself has some pictures of the Love Park Republican kinkfest!

Phillybits also has a slide show that shows the all white teabagging group of around 200 people gathered in Love Park. One guy has on a camoflage jacket. Fashion faux pas, for sure. I mane, it should be illegal to wear camo int he city. Who’s he trying to hide from, anyway?

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

Death Threat For Iowa State Sen. Who Supports Gay Marriage

One result of the legalization of gay marriage in Iowa is that at least one legislator, Matt McCoy, has been threatened with death over his stance. The State Senator from DesMoines is getting extra police protection from the rabid nutcases afraid of gay marriage. No word as yet on Glenn Beck’s involvement.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

The Iowa State Senator in question is Matt McCoy, the only openly gay State Senator in Iowa. Here’s the story from the Quad City Times:

Lt. Mark Logsdon of the Iowa State Patrol confirmed Monday that Sen. Matt McCoy, an openly gay lawmaker and Des Moines Democrat, has reported being the target of a death threat.

McCoy was seen emerging from a meeting with law enforcement officials at the Capitol late Monday afternoon.

“That’s all I can say, I’ve been threatened,” McCoy said when asked what the meeting was about, but confirming it was a death threat.

Logsdon said the threat came to McCoy’s Des Moines office at the Greater Des Moines Partnership.

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, D-Council Bluffs, and House Speaker Pat Murphy, D-Dubuque, also have been the target of “troublesome phone calls,” Logsdon said.

“At the very least, it’s certainly a harassment of a public official,” Logsdon said.

Opponents of the same-sex marriage ruling rallied at the Capitol again Monday, promising to turn up the heat on state officials to get them to start the process of amending Iowa’s Constitution to ban same-sex marriage.

Is anyone surprised at this turn of events? The heat of the rhetoric has certainly heated up, especially with videos like that of the National Organization for Marriage, which distorts facts all over the place in presenting its dire warnings. OK, maybe that wasn’t the real video. Neither is this video. Sorry, I think NOM has taken the real stupid video off the air after everyone got hold of the audition tapes of the actors hired to portray real people. But you get the idea. These people are afraid, so they are making others afraid. It doesn’t take much to figure out that threats would result.

I’m hoping none of these folks are big fans of Glenn Beck. Just sayin’.

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

2M4M, New Extremist Right Wing Project, Now Gay Website

We all remember Rachel Maddow making fun of the National Organization for Marrigae and its new 2M4M project, which evidently is a dating service for gay threesomes. But the right wing whack job organization didn’t stop their stupidity there. They don’t own www.2M2M.org, which is now a pro-gay marriage web site. Please visit.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

OK, this one shouldn’t be surprising. We know, for instance, that the whack jobs on the social conservative extremist end of the GOP spectrum are a bit on the dim side and don’t play all that well on the internet. We,, it was last Wednesday that the National Organization for Marriage launched their 2M4M campaign, not understanding that “M4M” is a standard abbreviation in personalsfor “man looking for man.” In other words, their cute slogan reads like a solicitation for group gay sex. Hey, even Rachel Maddow has made fun of it. Today we find that the National Organization for Marriage was so stupid as to not buy up the domain names for their new initiative.

www.2m4m.org is now a place of inclusion that stands for civil rights. You may go there for stories from people who support gay marriage, and you may go for links to very good videos explaining the distortions spewed forth by the right wing whack jobs. The site is expanding fast from its apparent launch yesterday. And I hope 2m4m.org takes a leading role in this fight for gay marriage, helping all Americans secure their religious freedom from those on the extremist right wing who wish to keep religious freedom only for themselves. Therefore my plug.

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

Resurrection of Intolerance

Intolerance? That’s certainly true of the 26% or so who form the hard core of the Republican Party as they view the performance of Barack Obama. There is nothing these people won’t critique. Yes, they even critique the Obama family church attendance, in an America that has freedom of religion.

Commentary By: Walter Brasch

The fanatic right-wing, after taking a few days off to catch their breath, is back again with vengeance.

Name anything that President Obama is doing, and this broken wing will try to slap it down, unmindful that more than two-thirds of Americans support the President, with his popularity rising each week, according to several independent polls.

During the campaign, they attacked Obama for being a Muslim. After all, they figured anyone with a name that wasn’t WASP-sounding must not be a Christian. Of course, they overlooked the Constitution, which says anyone–Christian, Muslim, Jew, or even atheist–has a right to be president.

When the Muslim connection didn’t wash with the people, the right-wing said that Obama went to the wrong Christian church. The United Church of Christ, many claimed, wasn’t even Christian because it allowed people of all views into its congregations. For the shrill-voiced pretend-Christians, their religion is more a religion of exclusion than of inclusion.

This past week, the holiest of Christian holidays, the lunatic fringe has shown just how far from Christianity it is. On talk shows and in vitriolic columns, the hard-core conservative base blasted the President for not going to church every Sunday. But then, the President and his family attended Easter Day services at St. John’s Episcopal Church. The family’s plans had been kept secret, both for security reasons and because the President had stated many times both before and after his inauguration that he needed time to find an appropriate congregation and because he was mindful that his presence would, even unintentionally, disrupt services.

Undoubtedly, the harpies of the extreme right-wing will now suggest that the President attended services only because they had raised the issue, and that his attendance was solely for political reasons.

What these self-righteous harpies don’t point out, is that while the President and his family are looking for an appropriate church, he’s hosted prayer meetings and a Passover Seder, and acted in a way that is far more what Christian charity asks than many who put out litmus tests made up of requirements that might make God weep.

So, here’s a few facts for this group–just in case they were foaming at the mouth during their own religious education, and didn’t hear their lessons.

One: More presidents didn’t attend church weekly than did. Among those who had very irregular church attendance was Thomas Jefferson, a deist not a Christian, who had insisted that freedom of religion be a part of the Constitution.

Two: People can go to church twice a week, and participate in every ritual and still not understand the words and teachings of God and his prophets.

Three: Persons who don’t go to church every week aren’t worse than those who do.

Four: A church is a building. If God is omnipresent, he is present in every part of this universe, not just in buildings. Persons can understand and have their own faith without going into a building, for the spirit of God is within their hearts.

Five: No one has absolute truth, and any attempt to impose one’s faith upon others is a selfish and egocentric approach to religion, something Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, and Mohammad would find appalling.

Finally: If the fanatics continue their shrill screeches that President Obama and his family attend church every Sunday to show the nation they are “true Christians,” they should consider that one of the most influential conservative presidents never attended Sunday services while president, believing his presence would disrupt Sunday services. That man was Ronald Reagan.

[Walter M. Brasch is a university professor of journalism, social issues columnist, author of 17 books, and occasional ASZ contributor. His current book is Sinking the Ship of State: The Presidency of George W. Bush, available from amazon.com, bn.com, and other stores. You may contact him through his website, www.walterbrasch.com]

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 by Walter Brasch |

Mel Gibson, Victim of Gay Marriage

Mel Gibson, famous for his homophobia and anti-semitism, has been served divorce papers by his wife. His extremist political views have come back to bite him in the ass. Hey, but who’s crying? Mel will probably just go into a drunken rage and punch somebody while teabagging, or something just as sweet.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

Mel Gibson, who has been accused of both anti-semitism and

Monday, April 13th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

No Drama Choc-Obama

For Obama the Ben and Jerry’s flavor is “Yes Pecan,” but from the reports about how the Obama White House handled the Somali piracy crisis this weekend, they might consider “No Drama Choc-Obama” instead. The whack jobs will whine that they don’t get a flavor. “Teabaggery Dunce” sounds good, but I’m up for suggestions.

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

Well, chocolate is the big thing ont he agenda today at the White House, and eggs and children. It will be a frenzied White House lawn, but there’s calm there in the White House, and we saw it over the weekend. I’m thinking we saw evidence that “Yes Pecan” is a good flavor name to represent the Obama candidacy, but that “No Drama Choc-Obama” might be the best Ben and Jerry’s flavor to represent the Obama Presidency given the last couple days. The pirates in Somalia got slammed, as we all know from reading the papers (Inquirer, New York Times) and watching the news, and Captain Richard Phillips is freed unharmed. Certainly this is a triumph for the US, and a triumph for Barack Obama as well, but the way the Obama Administration handled the crisis shows us calm and deliberation and competence. From an analysis piece by the AP:

Since the standoff began, Obama had made no public, in-person remarks on the topic, even declining to answer when questions were shouted at him during a press availability.

He did not call in his cabinet for a high-profile command meeting. He let military and top administration officials do the talking, but even they kept saber-rattling out of the equation.

White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said Obama’s silence should not be interpreted to mean he wasn’t deeply involved. Obama’s public posture was calculated to not raise the temperature on the situation or give the hostage-takers anything to exploit.

So what Obama did was receive regular briefings, sometimes half a dozen a day. He weighed in with two critical decisions letting the military act to save Phillips’ life. And he laid the groundwork for a federal criminal law-enforcement response.

Calm, efficient, competent. The Obama Administration did all the right things in this crisis, and while it is a relatively small crisis, it is a big contrast to the “sky is falling” character of the Bush White House, what with their terror alert color coding and their panicky use of torture, invasion of countries not involved in terror, etc. Big contrast, but not one we should be surprised at. This Obama team has shown consistent competence over the last couple years. The only question right now is how the whack job Republicans will spin this Obama triumph. Certainly at freerepublic.com there is happiness at the outcome, but the whack jobs that frequent the site are taking their shots at Obama, which you can read here. On Redstate the whining is about Obama taking credit for something he had no part in, despite facts, and the conversation is raving over there. I suppose these dimwits are taking after Newt Gingrich and Britt Hume and Glenn Beck when they slammed Obama before this crisis ended. Still, no consistent Republican whack job narrative is forming since this resolution of the crisis yesterday, but we’ve got the blowhard Rush Limbaugh going on the air in a couple hours, and he will likely complain that the captured pirate isn’t being tortured.

Meanwhile, I suggest the new flavor at Ben and Jerry’s to honor Obama should be “No Drama Choc-Obama,” and that it be added to the list alongside “It’s Pecan.” Sure, neither of those two flavors is as entertaining as the flavor suggestions for President Bush, but they are strong and calm and bespeak leadership.

Does anyone have any ice cream flavors to describe the whack jobs out there who can whine about even this triumph? I’m thinking it needn’t be an appetizing name, but should reflect the notions of whininess while also representing the divorce from reality evinced by the whack jobs on the right. On another issue one would be tempted to come up with the ice cream flavor “Teabaggery Dunce,” or somesuch, but no new flavor names are jumping to mind to describe the rank and file whack jobs of the GOP, their base and ugly “base,” as it were. Help me out, wouldya?

Monday, April 13th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |

Republican Flu Season: Whackjobberai Teabaggerhea is Rampant

Stay home April 15th so you don’t catch the Republican Whackjob Flu, and also so you don’t get exposed to the thousands of perverted sex acts infected GOPers will be performing in public. GOP marriages will collapse because of this disease, and after Iowa and Vermont, there are few enough GOP marriages intact. Suck it NOMTWEETS!

Commentary By: Steven Reynolds

Republicans are under the weather lately. GOP Governors Palin, Jindal and Sandford couldn’t find a way to screw their own constituents by refusing stimulus money, the stock market is up and offering a glimmer of hope, gay marriage is gaining a foothold in Vermont, Washington, DC and Iowa, change the landscape for that issue, and Barack Obama just got back from a successful trip to Europe which included a side trip to Iraq where US troops mobbed the President. Worse still, there’s a dire outbreaak of whackjobberai Teabaggerhea, that disease that inflicts Republicans from time to time, and this may be the worst outbreak on record. Oh, sure, the mere nomination of Sarah Palin in the Fall, followed by her characterizing Obama as palling with terrorists, represented a dangerous outbreak of the whackjob flu.

The whackjob flu can strike any Republican, but when it does it makes them do some pretty whack job things. I’m thinking Rush Limbaugh has a premanent case of the disease, which leads one to believe that at least one man is right to call him a “Brainwashed Nazi.” Heck, and that was a fan of his show who did that!

CALLER: Thanks Rush. Rush listen, I voted Republican and I really didn’t want to see Obama get in office. But you know Rush, you’re one reason to blame for this election, for the Republicans losing. First of all, you kept harping about voting for Hillary. The second big issue was the torture issue. I’m a veteran. We’re not supposed to be torturing these people. This is not Nazi Germany, Red China, North Korea. There’s other ways of interrogating people, and you just kept harping about, it’s okay, or it’s not really torture. And it was just more than waterboarding. Some of these prisoners will killed under torture.

And it was crazy for you to go on and on like Levin and Hannity and Hewitt. It’s like you’re all brainwashed. And my last comment is, no matter what Obama does, you will still criticize him because I believe you are brainwashed. You’re just – and I hate to say it – but I think you’re a brainwashed Nazi. Anyone who can believe in torture has got to be – there has got to be something wrong with them.

Rush Limbaugh, of course, lashed out and called the caller a RINO, because to Rush has the GOP Whackjob Flu as part of his permanent condition. I’m betting that’s why Limbaugh was addicted to drugs a few years back. Self-medication – that’s the ticket!

Perhaps what took the Republicans over the top, what lessened their immune systems enough so all of them are catching the whackjob flu are indications that liberals are winning the culture wars. Hey, mass murders across the nation have Republicans and their friends the NRA on the run a little bit. Liberals are winning on the issue of gay marriage as well – heck, there’s a phenomenon on Twitter where everyone types “suck it, @NOMTWEETS,” to screw around with the ugly organization National Organization for Marriage. Those folks are taking a huge beating.

Manifestations of the disease? Man, the Republican whackjob flu, Whackjobberai Teabaggerhea is striking everywhere, so be careful. Republicans across the country are going to be performing sex acts with each other on April 15th. Yes, you heard it right. Led by such whackjobs as Glenn Beck and the FoxNews team, Republicans across the country are going to “teabag” with each other at the same time. OK, we might excuse this as a warped little fraternity trick, but it seems they think masses of GOP members licking each other in the privates is going to be an effective protest against taxes, or some such nonsense. The Centers for Disease Control needs to get on this fast, as there is a clear risk of sexually transmitted disease with this sort of behavior, and I don’t think they make condoms for testicles. The rest of you, please stay off the streets on the 15th of April – Republicans Gone Wild has never looked like this.

Of course there’s more evidence of this epidemic. One Republican Congressman, Spencer Bachus of Alabama, is counting the socialists in Congress, and cigar smokers are joining the tea bag brigade to protest health care for children. The Republican tea baggers won’t let RNC Chair Michael Steele speak at an event, even though he dearly wants to join in the fun. (As I understand it, he’s allowed to tea bag, just not allowed to stand on stage and exhort Republicans while they commit the sex acts in public.)

Wow! I don’t think there is a cure for the Whackjob Flu. Yes, if you are a reality-based liberal you have a certain immunity. Still, avoiding FoxNews is a good prophylactic. You can also make sure not to turn on any radio shows that feature fat blowhard Republicans. Other than that, stay indoors if you can, and if you absolutely must go out on April 15th, make sure you have a blindfold for the kids.

Saturday, April 11th, 2009 by Steven Reynolds |
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